Gettin Your Groove Back *Beating Anxiety*

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If you don't keep your fears in check they can take over your thoughts and manifest into something greater. If you have ever had an anxiety attack you know exactly what I am talking about.

I have always loved running. I ran track and cross country in high school and continued to run outdoors up until I got pregnant with my first son. I never worried about a thing. I just ran. Then something changed...

Since becoming a Mom I have let my fears of being type 1 diabetic get in the way of something I love to do so much. I have had such bad anxiety about running outside alone. I worry about my blood sugar getting so low that I become unconscious and pass out. I worry that my phone won't have service and no one will even know where I am. I start thinking if something happens to me my kids won't have a Mom anymore. I know these thoughts are pretty drastic, but they are very real.

I am so sick of letting that dumb little voice tell me I can't do it anymore. This weekend I had a self reflection moment and I told that voice to shut up. I actually might have been a little more violent with what I said inside my head but you might start thinking I'm a crazy lady if I went into all the details. Basically the voice needed to be slapped around a little. I went out by myself and ran and ran and ran. And you know what? I was fine. I didn't pass out and my blood sugars were stable. I was prepared and brought glucose tablets, had my insulin pump and tested my blood before and after running and when that little voice started saying, "You're gonna get low Lindsay, just stop running and go home." I told it to shut up again. It worked. It felt so powerful to beat that little asshole who was taking over my thoughts.

I have decided that I am not going to take baby steps. I am just gonna go for it. As of this weekend, I have committed myself to running a half marathon with two of my friends this January. Talk about jumping in with both feet first (is that how that saying goes?) So yes...that means LOTS of running outside...alone.

I want to show my sons that nothing is impossible, even if God gives you something that might make life a little bit more challenging.

Are you currently letting fears or anxiety hold you back from doing what you have always wanted to do? I have enabled the anonymous comment feature if you want to get it out (hey we all do sometimes) but don't feel comfortable leaving your name.

Gettin Your Groove Back *A new way of eating*

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I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little bummed out every time I try on my (non stretchy) pre-pregnancy jeans and they wont budge past my butt. I have tried to squeeze myself in them and I end up with that weird butt cleavage that you spot on Glamour's "Don't List." Not a good look. Since you can't suck in your butt I just have to wear stretchy jeggings until they fit again. I refuse to buy bigger clothes.

In an effort to somewhat shrink my larger behind I have gotten really serious about my diet. Because I am nursing I still need to be eating a good amount of nutrient rich foods and cant afford to cut back too much on calories since I know it will lower my milk supply. Eating healthy and low carb is already a priority in my life because I am type 1 diabetic but since I am determined to get back to my old self I recently realized it may be time to make a few changes.

This past month I have decided to go full Paleo. The Paleo Diet aka the caveman diet encourages you to replace dairy and grain with fresh fruits and vegetables. What I love about this way of eating is calorie counting is not encouraged. Awesome right? Basically you eat more (nutritious foods) and weigh less. It really is more of a healthy way of living compared to just a diet that you do for a few months. Since I already do not eat wheat and grain products I figured this would be a no brainier. Yes I do love my cheese and frozen yogurt so this was a little hard, but honestly I have never felt better. If you want to learn a little more you can read this post, which has some really great information.

So far I have noticed I feel less bloated, I have more energy (so important with two little boys) and my skin is the clearest it has ever been. Do I think this is for everyone? Absolutely not. I am just sharing what is working for me.

Are you currently cutting anything out in order to feel a little healthier? I would love to hear what's working for you.

Getttin Your Groove Back *Dating My Husband Again*

Let me paint you a picture of what dinner time is like at our house...

I am making dinner and my husband is walking around with Ronin in the Bjorn bouncing up and down trying to calm him down. You see, when I am in the room but I am not holding Ronin he does not approve and throws an absolute fit. Max then has to continually let us know that, "Brother is cryyyyyying!" Thanks buddy we had no idea.

In between being an announcer, Max is running around throwing his basketball into his hoop. The fun usually ends when the ball gets thrown a little too close to either me or his brother.

Once dinner is actually ready I am nursing Ronin while inhaling my dinner at record speed trying not to drop salad onto his head. This takes talent.

Our dinner conversation is usually all about the kids. We talk about what cute things Max did that day, how many times Max went on the big potty, how many times Ronin peed on me (yes this happens more often then I would like to admit) and how many naps he took. Maybe we will get a few sentences in there about Ian's day. Ya it's not very romantic or adult-ish in the slightest bit.

It is so easy to get used to this new normal and stop having actual adult conversations all together.

Ian and I realized we were both missing that one on one time we used to have so much. We both have things we wanted to talk to each other about and it started to seem like we were just acting like parent robots and forgetting about making quality time for each other.

To help break this cycle and make things feel a little more romantic and normal between the two of us we decided to start making it a priority to go on dates. Once a week (that is our goal) we actually get ready and go out on a date. We talk about whatever the heck we want. One to two hours of actual adult conversation is pretty much the best thing ever. Not only do I feel more confident with myself since I am all dressed up but I feel so much closer to my husband since starting this...plus his chances of getting lucky are even higher I noticed ;) Yep I just said that.

One of the best pieces of advice I got when I was pregnant with Max was to always remember you were a twosome before you were a threesome (or a now foursome).

If you have kids I would love to know if you have an established date rule with your other half. How long do you go until you realize you need some one on one time with each other?

On a side note: For those of you reading who may be raising kids on your own, you are simply amazing. If you have the option to get out and do things with your friends, do it. You deserve it.

If you missed part one of the series, you can read it here.

Gettin Your Groove Back *staying active to stay sane*

A big part of gettin my groove back is getting back to the way I looked pre-pregnancy...or pretty close to it. Easier said than done I know. As of right now my stomach is a little squishy, my butt is a tad bit mushy, my thighs have a few too many dimples and my arms have a little jiggle but I am determined to feel good about myself once again. I hate talking about #'s because that is not what this is about but lets just say that I gained more than the recommended 25 pounds during my last pregnancy. Really though, who only gains 25 pounds? If you are one of those "ones" good for you. I'm pretty sure I gained 25 pounds in my butt alone.

Every woman has their routine that makes them feel good. This may be anything from sitting at a coffee shop listening to music to getting a pedicure. Mine is exercising and going to the gym. With a infant and a two year old this is not as easy as it used to be. Gone are the days when I can work out whenever I want. Since I am super motivated to make exercise a priority I have learned to get creative.

I have been doing workout videos while Ronin naps. Max likes to participate and it is hilarious. I also started switching off with my husband when he comes home from work to go on a run. Most of the time I am dead tired and this sounds like a horrible plan but I always follow the 10 minute rule. What is the 10 minute rule? You exercise for a minimum of 10 minutes and after 10 minutes if you still think it's a horrible plan you stop. 90% of the time you will want to keep going. Try it next time you feel unmotivated!

With all the pressures woman have to look a certain way, it is so easy to get caught up in that and maybe even obsess about it a little. I have been there before and it's not fun. As I slowly get back to the old me I am making a conscious effort to not worry so much about a number but rather to be strong fit and healthy, whatever that number may be.

I have to constantly remind myself that taking time for myself to be active does not mean I am being a selfish mom. In fact it is the opposite. When I am active and exercising I feel good about myself and in return I am a better wife and a happier Mom.

New Series *Gettin Your Groove Back*

I am starting a new series on my blog called "Gettin Your Groove Back"

The plan is once a week I will share my journey of how I plan to get my pre-pregnancy self back. This is not just about weight, although I will be talking about that because let's be honest you gain weight when pregnant. I gained a lot.

I know I am not the best at keeping up with series (like this one), but this is something I am really excited about and I am going to hold myself accountable to. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut and feel like you might have lost yourself a little bit. Yes I am a Mom but that does not mean I need to forget all about myself and stop doing the things I love. My hope is to inspire other women who may have similar feelings...Mom or not.

Every woman had "their time" before husbands, children and responsibilities and I think it's always important to feel sexy and confident no matter what stage of life you're in.

I will be starting the first post of the series next week.