If you don't keep your fears in check they can take over your thoughts and manifest into something greater. If you have ever had an anxiety attack you know exactly what I am talking about.
I have always loved running. I ran track and cross country in high school and continued to run outdoors up until I got pregnant with my first son. I never worried about a thing. I just ran. Then something changed...
Since becoming a Mom I have let my fears of being type 1 diabetic get in the way of something I love to do so much. I have had such bad anxiety about running outside alone. I worry about my blood sugar getting so low that I become unconscious and pass out. I worry that my phone won't have service and no one will even know where I am. I start thinking if something happens to me my kids won't have a Mom anymore. I know these thoughts are pretty drastic, but they are very real.
I am so sick of letting that dumb little voice tell me I can't do it anymore. This weekend I had a self reflection moment and I told that voice to shut up. I actually might have been a little more violent with what I said inside my head but you might start thinking I'm a crazy lady if I went into all the details. Basically the voice needed to be slapped around a little. I went out by myself and ran and ran and ran. And you know what? I was fine. I didn't pass out and my blood sugars were stable. I was prepared and brought glucose tablets, had my insulin pump and tested my blood before and after running and when that little voice started saying, "You're gonna get low Lindsay, just stop running and go home." I told it to shut up again. It worked. It felt so powerful to beat that little asshole who was taking over my thoughts.
I have decided that I am not going to take baby steps. I am just gonna go for it. As of this weekend, I have committed myself to running a half marathon with two of my friends this January. Talk about jumping in with both feet first (is that how that saying goes?) So yes...that means LOTS of running outside...alone.
I want to show my sons that nothing is impossible, even if God gives you something that might make life a little bit more challenging.
Are you currently letting fears or anxiety hold you back from doing what you have always wanted to do? I have enabled the anonymous comment feature if you want to get it out (hey we all do sometimes) but don't feel comfortable leaving your name.