Boys are crazyyyyyy. Well, my boys are crazy at least and sometimes I wonder if they wake up and plot in their rooms before they come out on how they are going to try and make me go mentally insane that day. I am not kidding. And whoever thinks girls are crazier than boys well...you have not met my boys. I am aware that for the most part on my blog I do not talk about all the chaos and "un-sweet" things that my boys do but I am here today to let ya know... ;)
1) They pee everywhere. The other day I actually said (yelled) "Stop peeing in the trashcan!" I mean... lets just please pee in (not around or on the sides) of the toilet. I have to clean it daily and it's gross!
2) Do not buy anything nice in your house unless you don't mind the whole, "weathered rustic" look. Boys destroy everything. And if I would have known this earlier I would not have decided on certain items in my house, like my pretty mid-century modern couches with a tight tweed fabric that they are slowly destroying thanks to their trucks running all over them and I don't even know what else. Same goes for my awesome coffee table that is now completely banged up due to them thinking that their play construction tools are real tools so they continually hammer the crap out of it like their daddy does when he is building...but I tell myself it gives it character haha. And just a forewarning "play tools" can do quite a bit of damage so don't think they are playing all sweet with their little plastic hammers in their room.
3) Get ready to do things with your voice that you may have never done before. I so wish I was not a yeller but to be completely honest boys (maybe it's only my boys?) do not respond AT ALL if I ask them to do something repeatedly in a sweet nice tone. I have tried it and they will completely flat out ignore me like I am speaking Chinese. So I have developed this deep deep low voice that comes out when they need to do things and they are not listening. They know that voice means serious business or else the yelling will start.
4) Do not fall into the trap of buying super expensive boy clothes (I've been there). Listen ladies, there is no point unless you plan on bringing your boys to a bubble wrapped room where their hands are tied behind their back and there is nothing that they can touch and rub on their shirts. Because on any other regular day they will wipe their food, dirt, boogers, bugs and all sorts of unmentionable things on that $30 shirt that you will regret buying after they had only worn it for a day.
5) Get ready to spend A LOT of money on food. The amount of food boys consume is just ridiculous. Sometimes I wonder how their tiny little bodies are able to consume so much in one day! I actually asked my husband a while back (he has 3 brothers) if how much our boys ate was "normal" and he assured me that it was beyond normal. If I got a dollar (or how about a sip of wine...ohh that sounds better) every time I heard the phrase, "But I am still hungry" or "Can I have a snack?" (even though they just had a meal) I would be one rich or buzzed mom however you want to look at it. And to the cute checker gal at Trader Joe's who looks too un-frazzled to have kids...yes I am here agaainnnnnn but thanks for always pointing it out :)
Okay so those are just a few and that is all that I have time for because I have to make dinner since my boys are jumping all over me and off the couch asking when dinner is going to be.