This past week has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I cried the most I have have ever cried and prayed the most I have ever prayed.
I am not the best long story teller. I tend to ramble and get side tracked so I am going to break up Ronin's story into a few separate posts.
The delivery day
The day started out perfect. I woke up at 6am and it felt like it was Christmas morning. I was beyond happy the day had finally come where I would get to meet my son. I couldn't wait. Our almost two year old son Max came into our room and snuggled with my husband and I. As I looked over at my sweet little family I was just thinking how incredibly blessed I was and it was all about to get even better.
We arrived at the hospital at 10 am to check in. I was starting to get nervous. I am the type who needs a Xanax before the dentist so I was just waiting for that horrible anxiety to kick in.
I entered the pre-op room where I changed into my gown. A nurse came in and put my iv in. That's when the nerves started. I started shaking like a leaf as I anxiously awaited 12pm (go time) to roll around. My amazing husband said prayers with me kissed me telling me everything was going to go great.
It was now 11:45 and all the nurses and my doctor came in and said they were ready for me to come back. I was so scared.
I entered the sterile bright room, which seemed to even hum a sterile sound. I told myself not to look around because if I saw any tools I knew I would freak out.
My anesthesiologist came in. He reminded me of a slightly stoned yoga teacher, which put me at ease. I told him how nervous I was and he told me not to worry. He said after the baby comes out he would give me "special juice" to calm me down. I liked the sound of that. I sat on the edge of the bed squeezing my nurses hands as he inserted my spinal. All I remember is a cold sensation followed by my legs feeling like tree trunks and I could no longer wiggle my toes. I did a quick self test and pinched my inner thigh really hard. I couldn't feel a thing! Whew!
I laid down, the curtain went up and my husband came in and sat by my side. My doctor entered the room and told me I was about to meet my son! I kind of went into a zen mode and don't remember much after that.
I laid there waiting as my belly was pushed and tugged around. I heard my doctor ask for a tool and said "He's a big boy, I need to make the incision longer." I didn't care about how long my incision was I just wanted to hear him cry.
After what seemed like an eternity I heard them suctioning followed by the best sound in the world...his cry!
They quickly showed him to me, I gave him a kiss and then he was whisked off to be checked out. As I was getting wheeled off to the recovery room I asked if I could see him in the nursery (they usually do not allow this when you just had a c-section). My awesome nurse told me we could take a quick peek. I pushed it a little further and asked if I could hold him for just a sec. I held him for about a minute and then handed him over to finish getting checked out. He was perfect and all I could think about was that first bonding moment where he would lay on my chest skin to skin.
As I was in the recovery room. My husband came in and told me Ronin was having a hard time stabilizing his blood sugar, which can be an after result of me being type 1 diabetic. The same thing happened to my first born son, but it was all corrected within an hour or so.
My husband was with our son while I was in my room, praying his blood sugar would rise. A nurse walked in with my husband and told me the last thing in the world I wanted to hear. She said my son's blood sugar level was so low that he would have to get transported immediately to San Diego Children's hospital NICU unit. A hospital that was about an hour away from the one where I delivered. I would not be going with him.
I had not even held him for more than a minute. Words can not even describe how I felt at that moment. Tears filled my eyes and I was hysterical. My husband and I prayed as we knew our sweet baby was about to be in the hands of someone else.
Part two will be next--Ronin's pick up and arrival into NICU.
On a side note: This story does have a happy ending. Ronin is now home with us and is doing great! He is one content little guy.